In an attempt to procrastinate even further, I will write this instead of the numerous response papers, short fiction piece, and 50 page thesis I need to be writing.

I love that I'm okay with myself for spending these last two hours catching up on the things I need to be doing (read: want to be doing) like watching last week's episode of Project Runway and painting my nails silver. It means I'm finally realizing sometimes that work is not the most important thing, being happy is. And I'm happy with that.

I'm going to write a piece today about Prague. I have to bolster my ability to look at pictures without feeling that devastating ache in my heart I usually feel. It's going to be brutal, writing this piece. Still waiting for someone to come up to me and tell me if I dropped everything at that moment, I could go back. I would do it in a heartbeat without questioning anything.

I'm falling in love with The Weepies. They're defining my senior year--it's sad how that happens. Whenever I hear them I'm going to think of the place I left behind. Of the green in the morning and clock tower ringing, my office at work and the people there, my back deck (morning, afternoon, and at night), and the shady streets I've spent so much time walking up and down. My friends who are staying put while I leave.

This is getting depressing.

I making my last month--free of thesis, worrying about classes and papers and presentations--the best month I will have in Geneseo. And I'm doing Kegs&Eggs the morning I graduate. After I jump in the fountain, of course.

Today I finished Ulysses. I feel so many emotions: joy, pride, sadness, love. I'm still surprised that I completed it. I can only wonder how it will strike me when I read it in my 30s, my 40s, my 50s. And I will forever be celebrating Bloomsday, no matter where I am or who I'm with. Maybe I'll even listen to it being read in a dark pub in the bowels of Dublin one day. One day.

“Every life is many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves." - James Joyce, Ulysses

Three years ago today I started this blog. And while I've been an absent writer as of late, I am pleased that I've been committed to the project for so long. What started out as a one year experiment into my commitment habits turned into a three-year-long discovery of myself. Alanis Morissette sang it best: "And though I know who I'm not, I still don't know who I am." But at least I'm more aware of my elusive being that I was three years ago.

God, I hesitate to even compare myself as a freshman in college to myself now, a senior in college looking at Grad Schools and feeling pretty darn confident about life in general. I mean, I'm doing things I never thought possible: I'm writing a 60 page thesis this year on Abolitionism, I'm reading Ulysses by James Joyce (and actually understanding it), and I'm completing my degree in History and English Literature.

Well, in true Katie fashion, I'm procrastinating on writing a paper which coincidentally is due in mere hours and (of course) I haven't started yet. The procrastination/motivation aspect of my life clearly still needs some work. Perhaps that will be my goal for the upcoming year!

Wish me luck, Lord knows I'm going to need it.

K

So I'm back from Prague, and I'm upset that it's all over. I didn't want to leave. The last night we walked around the city and said goodbye to everything that we love. We even hugged a few things-- the Charles Bridge, the Clock Tower, Jan Huss, the Tyn Church, our street, our dorms, etc. I miss it a lot. I'm going back as soon as I can.

Summer has been here for a week and I'm already bored. I'm overwhelmed with homework for my history class and I really hate that I'm still writing papers. But I like driving to Geneseo so I'll make a few exceptions.

It's good to see my friends, I've missed them. And it's good to have tap water again, a real bed, and a shower that is the right size for a human being to shower.

I can't wait to go to California in August. It's good to have a summer where I'm working, studying, AND traveling-- if only to get a nice balance of all three.

I want to run the 5k in Geneseo this fall so I started training yesterday. Training means actually running the 3.2 miles on the treadmill without stopping. So I completed the first portion haha. AND I can actually move today. So that's a good sign.

I hope summer is at least somewhat relaxing for me.

K

I think I will remember this night forever. It was the first real time that I've put my concerns aside and did what I wanted to do at the moment.

Surreal. The bed with the white sheets and the green blanket I was so familiar with. Two of the girls I love and one friend that I think is starting to become very close. I mean, come on. He got me to do something I never thought I would do EVER.

This might be lame. It's borderline, straddling the fence l-a-m-e. But I like it. It's mine to keep, and I think it's kind of funny how it happened.

All I can think about is what I have to do tomorrow, and the thoughts I'll have swimming in my head when I'm supposed to be thinking other, more academic things.

K.

I'm going to be in Europe in two months. It just hit me today. Who knew that watching Before Sunrise and Before Sunset in quick succession could do that?!

I plan on taking fabulous weekend trips to countries I never dreamed I had the possibility of going to. I want to sit on a train and watch the countryside fly by and really feel what it's like to be somewhere removed, somewhere separate from reality.

If I'm away from TV, internet, phones even, I can be alone with my thoughts. I can walk streets twenty times older than I am and finally think clearly about my life, my ambitions, my imagination.

The world is so big, there are so many people to meet, things to see and do, and I've been sequestered my whole life. It's time to finally break the mold. I'm living in Prague, Vienna, and whatever other cities I chose for a whole month-- 30 days of enlightenment, and I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

Bull Durham, His Girl Friday, Little Miss Sunshine, To Kill a Mockingbird, Garden State.

I hate that people *think* I should hate it, ergo, I HATE IT.

I wish you peace.